Autumn’s Biggest Mistake: Pumpkin Spice

https://www.starbucks.com/

https://www.starbucks.com/

Heidi Schwarzmann, News Editor

The views expressed in this article belong to the reporter, and do not reflect the views held by Rockbridge County High School, the Prowler Staff, and its members.

The Autumn season is creeping up on Rockbridge County. The leaves are changing colors and the summer heat is moving out. Picture this: It’s a lovely fall afternoon and you are headed to your favorite Lexington drive thru. You pull up to order and you are bombarded with the disgusting sight of the entire menu being covered in pumpkin spice. Your day has been ruined by this nightmare businesses like to call an enjoyable flavor. 

Pumpkin on its own tastes like one of your mom’s failed healthy cooking attempts. Many big franchises, such as Starbucks, decided it was smart to take that insult of a vegetable, blend it into some bitter coffee, and add some nutmeg and cinnamon in an attempt to hide their mistakes. If you thought the Conjuring trilogy was going to be the worst thing overhyped this season, the Starbucks’ Pumpkin Spice Latte is worth more rotten tomatoes by far. 

Every bad food fad comes with a gaggle of fans to defend it. Pumpkin spice addicts are by far the worst of them all. You can smell them coming from a mile away with their Ugg boots and reusable venti Starbucks cups. If you dare attempt to critique their sacred flavor, be prepared for backlash like no other. 

Help be the change our society needs this Autumn. Boycott all items pumpkin spice to stop the spread of this epidemic.