We Are Who We Are is a HBO miniseries brought to us from Luca Guadagnino, the director that brought us Call Me By My Name, Io Sono l’Amore, and many other titles. We Are Who We Are stars Jack Dylan Grazer, who plays Fraser Wilson, and Jordan Seamón, who plays Caitlin Poythress (also known as Harper). 

The two teens are children of soldiers who are stationed in Italy. The series starts off with Fraser’s arrival to the base. Fraser’s mother, Sarah (played by Chloë Sevigny) becomes the new colonel of the base, which causes their family to move from New York City to Italy. Fraser, Sarah, and Maggie (Fraser’s other mother, played by Alice Braga) are introduced to Jenny (Caitlin’s mother) as she introduces them to the base. From here, we slowly watch Fraser integrate into his new environment. One of the first people Fraser meets is Britney, who invites Fraser to the beach to meet her other friends, one of them being Caitlin. After some time at the beach, Fraser leaves, which ends with him being lost. Luckily, Maggie finds him and takes him home. The final scene of the first episode shows Caitlin dressed as Harper at a local cafe. Harper is spotted by Fraser which throws them both off and ends with Caitlin telling Fraser to never speak of it or hang out with them again, which is ironic because this scene is what ties them together for the rest of the series.

Throughout that episode, I felt that the tone was a little chaotic and somewhat off, as viewers were exposed to some weird camera angles, blurred motion, and over-exposed shots. My original thought was that the show was going for an artistic and cinematic look, but with more thought, I realised that the cinematography was made that way in order to show the audience how Fraser was feeling. This kid was just thrown into a new environment, with new people, not to mention a  major chaotic thing has just happened in his life. I will say it is a really cool way to introduce a new character, but it did almost lose me in the first episode. 

The second episode shows Fraser’s arrival to the base, but from Caitlin’s perspective. Although Caitlin’s behavior is not as bizarre as Fraser’s, her home life is just as puzzling. Right off the bat, it is clear that she is a daddy’s girl. She routinely goes fishing and boxing with her father, Richard (played by Kid Cudi). As we see through the series, this puts tension on Richard and Danny (Caitlin’s brother, played by Spence Moore II). Danny alone is a crazy ride, as he is clearly disconnected from his family (I would not call it a stretch to say that he hates his family). Throughout the series, we see his jealousy towards his sister through his tantrums, fights, sneaking out, and trying to reconnect with his Muslim Nigeria culture. Going back to Richard, it seems that he loves his family, but he just does not know how to evenly distribute that love. The show brings up that Richard likes Trump, which is not a major plot point but does explore his political ideologies and how they influence Caitlin. Caitlin says some Islamophobia things to Danny, and it is revealed later on that Jenny gave up her culture and identity for Richard. Unfortunately, Jenny later has an affair with Maggie, although Richard never finds out there is still this weird tension between the two families. 

One of the most important scenes is Fraser and Caitlin shaving on Caitlin’s hair. From making her own mustache to pretending to be Harper, the audience pretty much catches on that Caitlin is experiencing some amount of gender dysphoria. With Caitlin shaving her hair off, she manifests what she feels on the inside, allowing her family, friends, and peers to see on the outside. Even though Caitlin has not put a label on it yet, she begins to be more comfortable with accepting who she is. Just so you guys know, I am  going to be still using the pronouns she/her because those are used throughout the series. I think the show does an amazing job at showing the process of teens trying to figure themselves out. Especially in this situation where there is an added layer of two teens who are part of the LGBTQ+ community. Coming-of-age stories do not typically revolve around LGBTQ+ characters, although I personally believe this is changing for society today. I believe that the media is doing a great service to show different ways of life to different groups of people and it’s also helping different communities feel seen and normalised.

Another moment that stood out to me was the awkward scene between Jonathan (played by Tom Mercier), Fraser, and Martha. From episode two, it was fairly obvious that Fraser had a thing for Jonathan. It was shown more when the two ran into each other at the theaters and then sat beside one another and proceeded to hang out after. Jonathan also works with Fraser’s mother, so they see each other a lot. Their bond grows more because of their love of books and cinema. This leads to Jonathan inviting Fraser to go to the mountains in Italy. At this point, I assumed that Jonathan was in his early to mid twenties, but the audience learns that he is actually 30. Whether 25 or 35, it was unsettling to see this kind of a relationship with a teen. I will say that most of the tension was held by Fraser. I feel like the series was made that way because we are in Fraser’s perspective. Also, if you are not a stranger to Luca Guadagnino’s work, you know he is no stranger to the idea of younger (20s) and older (40s) men getting together. From watching Call Me By Your Name, I knew that the Fraser and Jonathan thing would not end well. The final scene between them has Fraser going to Jonathan’s apartment late at night.. After a few minutes of Fraser being jealous, they all start to dance together, leading Jonathan to kiss Martha. Fraser was fine with everything for a good 15 seconds, and then it clicks with him what’s going on, which leads him to dash out the apartment. When he gets outside he breaks down and delivers probably the most painful scene in the series. I’ve been wrestling with the thought that Fraser realised that it was inappropriate or he saw that that’s not what he wanted. I think this show did everything well and really showed the importance of the LGBTQ+ community. I would recommend this show if you have HBO/HBO Max.